Free-D

Summer is just around the corner, if not here already, and most likely unlike you I’m totally unprepared for it again. But, yet I cannot wait feel that lovely warm breeze against my body and wallow in the rays of the basking summer sun. So here it is again and here I am again eyeing in envy those who are already walking around in their new summer wardrobes looking totally fab as I cast my mind back to my previous summer’s drab designs not having a clue what’s hot and what’s not. The thought suddenly enters my mind that if one of those reality “what not to wear” type TV producers walked by I would just be standing a mile out right now. Dang! Ok, so a plan begins to form in my mind, something that consists of a quick gym membership and a hurried appointment with the local beauty parlour.

Then a reality-check comes to mind, when was that area last exposed to anyone else but my loyal-loving boyfriend? Closely pursued by the horrific image of the well-groomed beautician’s glossed-soaked lips dropping at the sheer sight of me.

Oh my dear Lord, why don’t I ever get it right? The idea of the “what not to wear” producer comes back to the forefront of my thoughts as not such an unwelcoming prospect, if only I could do it without the film crew following me around shooting every unwanted part of my body that I’ve been trying all my life not to let others focus their attention on.

A great example of muffin-topped jeans walks by and just makes me feel that little bit better about myself. Ha! I’m not the only one, hurrah! And, as if by the grace of God, everything goes a little grey and I look up to see the clouds have just rolled in and fond memories of home come flooding back as big splats of rain start cascading down on me. Then I remember, of course I’m not organised yet, the British summertime has nowhere near started yet, if it comes at all. What was I thinking? Besides, who cares anyway, who wants to look that gorgeous having everyone I don’t want staring at me all the time. If I did that would mean that every waking hour for the rest of my life I would have to always look that good and keep it up. Well balls to that! It’s got to be said that the treat them mean keep them keen expression works perfectly here. So I’ll be mean to everyone, keep looking like a sheep dragged through a hedge backwards, and when I’m ready, not when the summer tells me that I am, I will go out and get myself all primed and plucked and be a welcomed sight to sore eyes. After all, do I want to conform to the others? I mean, I just want to have fun enjoy my life and you know what yes, if I can be arsed, I’ll make an effort every once in a while. Just on special occasions mind you. But then again, maybe I could just go and check that gym out and…

By guest writer